If a child tells you.

Here is tonight, in order.

If you are a grandparent or another relative, tell the child’s parents tonight what the child said and that you are calling 1098, and ask them not to confront the person. If a parent might warn the person, or is the person, call 1098 first and do not tell them.

If the person is a teacher, tutor, van driver, uncle or cousin, the report still goes to 1098 or the police. Do not go to the school or tuition centre first, and do not let the school question the child.

On the call, also tell 1098 if other children live there or are taught or looked after by the person.

You could say I believe you. Thank you for telling me. Or This is not your fault, and you will never be in trouble for telling me. Part of you may not want to believe it. Say it to the child anyway.

There is one promise you can keep: I will only tell people who can help, and I will tell you what happens next. If the child is older, be honest that you have to tell people who can help, and ask what would make it easier for them.

Many of us grew up hearing don’t talk about such things. If that is what came out of your mouth first, or if you did not believe the child at first, go back to them. Tell them you have thought about it and you believe them. Read more about how a child actually tells.

POCSO is India’s law against the sexual abuse of children, and the Magistrate is a judge who writes down what the child says, in the child’s own words.

Do not record the child yourself. The police can record the statement on video. Do not question other children in the house, together or one by one. Each new round of questions adds another version of what happened.

Do write down what the child said, in their own words, with the date and time. Do not add to it or tidy it up, and do not show it to the child. Give it to the police.

The law says the police take the child’s account at home or a place the child chooses, by an officer out of uniform, a woman officer wherever possible. A parent or a person the child trusts can stay with the child.

A young child, or a child with a disability, may tell in pieces, or through play or drawing. That still counts. The child has a right to an interpreter or a special educator if they need one, so ask for one.

The Child Welfare Committee (CWC) is a district panel that must make sure the child is safe and cared for, and it must weigh what the child wants. It decides within three days, and must tell you if it is thinking of a children’s home or shelter. Read what happens at the committee.

Tell one other adult only if you are sure they will not warn the person. If you are unsure, call 1098 first.

If the family depends on this person’s income, there is some help with money after a report. None of it is quick or certain, and none of it replaces a wage. If you are not safe either, call 181, the Women Helpline.

An FIR is the First Information Report, the police report. A parent or a person the child trusts can stay with the child the whole time.

If the child might be pregnant, say so at the hospital. Time limits apply to every choice, so ask the same day. Read if the child is pregnant.

If the child can bear it, go before a bath. Keep the clothes they wore, each piece in its own paper bag if you have one. Do not wash them. If they are wet, let them dry in the air. Never force it, and never delay care for it.

The child, or you for a young child, can say no to any part of the examination. Saying no does not stop treatment. Do not photograph the child’s body, and do not check it yourself or let a relative do it.

A private hospital may send you to a government hospital for the examination, but it must still treat the child first. If a hospital refuses to treat the child, it is breaking the law. Go to the next one, or call 112.

A normal examination does not mean nothing happened. You can read what the examination involves before you go.

You can also call 1098 just to ask what will happen. Once you describe abuse, though, they must tell the police.

The law requires anyone who knows or fears that a child is being sexually abused to tell the police. The law protects anyone who reports honestly.

Read what happens when you call 1098, and what happens after a report.

Elders may say it will shame the house, or that it should stay at home. You can read more on when the family says keep it at home and why a family whispers.

Abuse at home is not rare. Majlis, a Mumbai legal aid organisation, says that in the rape cases it took on from April 2021 to September 2022, about 1 in 10 were by a father, stepfather or other close relative.

Tell only the people who must know. Do not share it in family groups. Do not post about it online or name the child, even to get help. The law protects the child’s identity from everyone, including family.

The child may still love the person. You can keep them safe without asking them to stop loving anyone.

Even if the child takes it back later in court, the case does not end on that alone. The court can still weigh other evidence, such as the doctor’s findings.

If you think someone has talked to the child about it, tell the police. If a support person has been named, tell them too. A support person is a person assigned by the Child Welfare Committee and paid by the government, who stays with your family through the police and court steps.

Keep the child’s days as normal as you can. Do not punish the child or keep them indoors as if they did something wrong. Read why it can come years later.